Cruise takes on the evil Xenu and fails
Tom Cruise has clearly lost his mind.
I read his article over lunch today and almost threw my plate across the room.
Our "Most Powerful Person of 2006" should have stuck with his day job. Then again, he should have stuck with it long before his Scientology exploits.
The following comes from DRIVEN Magazine. Beside the article is a picture of Tom with his finger on the handle of a slick black car on top of a red carpet:
We asked Tom Cruise to comment on why it took him five minutes to figure how to open the door on his Bugatti Veyron and this is the response we received.
Dear DRIVEN editors,
Hello, my aspiring Scientologists! You may find my new film exciting, but it is with great sadness that I reveal a secret: Lamborghinis are the work of the great and evil Xenu. Not to mention they give my love, Kate, a reason to take painkillers again. This, my friends, I will not accept.
So when my colleagues at The Church alerted me to the great and powerful Bugatti Veyron, I had to rent for Kat.
Yes, the reviews are true. It will remove two Thetans from your body in 10 seconds flat, making it the perfect vehicle for Scientology.
Their mouths were agape as we, TomKat, pulled onto the red carpet. I flashed the crowd with my best and most enthusiastic "super blockbuster premiere grin," and rounded to extract my bride. The door was not locked, but instead rigged to let out an electromagnetic pulse, rendering any agents of the evil Xenu useless. Several pulls later, and I was sure no agents were able to harm Kate and I.
After all, you can never be too careful; there are wackos in the world.
Most sincerely,
Thomas Cruise
Mapother VI
Look in the mirror Cruise. The wacko is you.
I read his article over lunch today and almost threw my plate across the room.
Our "Most Powerful Person of 2006" should have stuck with his day job. Then again, he should have stuck with it long before his Scientology exploits.
The following comes from DRIVEN Magazine. Beside the article is a picture of Tom with his finger on the handle of a slick black car on top of a red carpet:
We asked Tom Cruise to comment on why it took him five minutes to figure how to open the door on his Bugatti Veyron and this is the response we received.
Dear DRIVEN editors,
Hello, my aspiring Scientologists! You may find my new film exciting, but it is with great sadness that I reveal a secret: Lamborghinis are the work of the great and evil Xenu. Not to mention they give my love, Kate, a reason to take painkillers again. This, my friends, I will not accept.
So when my colleagues at The Church alerted me to the great and powerful Bugatti Veyron, I had to rent for Kat.
Yes, the reviews are true. It will remove two Thetans from your body in 10 seconds flat, making it the perfect vehicle for Scientology.
Their mouths were agape as we, TomKat, pulled onto the red carpet. I flashed the crowd with my best and most enthusiastic "super blockbuster premiere grin," and rounded to extract my bride. The door was not locked, but instead rigged to let out an electromagnetic pulse, rendering any agents of the evil Xenu useless. Several pulls later, and I was sure no agents were able to harm Kate and I.
After all, you can never be too careful; there are wackos in the world.
Most sincerely,
Thomas Cruise
Mapother VI
Look in the mirror Cruise. The wacko is you.
posted by Janey Llewellin at 2:13 PM
2 Comments:
He really is a freak. Although to be fair that car is about as close to a spaceship as they come.
Anyway, here's a video you might appreciate:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6296319736773344488
That's classic. Thanks for the link.
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